Choices and the "Chaotic" People in Our Lives

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default Choices and the "Chaotic" People in Our Lives

Post by melodiccolor on Wed Apr 24, 2013 8:16 pm

Denmark Guy posted another article: HSPs, Choices and the "Chaotic" People in Our Lives .

At the bottom, he asks some questions that might be worth exploring here.

What do YOU think? Do you often feel like you're surrounded by people who need to be "taken care of?" Does their presence exhaust you? Does it feel like they just have "insinuated themselves" there? Have you ever considered that you-- by your direct or indirect actions-- INVITED them to be there? Does it sometimes feel like you wish you had "more together" friends... yet you feel intimidated by people who seem to "have it all together?"

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default Re: Choices and the "Chaotic" People in Our Lives

Post by Nucky on Wed Apr 24, 2013 9:06 pm

Speaking as someone who's been on both sides of this:

We have to be very careful before committing to going great lengths towards helping others in the first place, setting clear boundaries regarding the type of help offered and being absolutely sure that we can realistically follow through with it if it involves something long-term. No one is obligated to help anyone in any way, friend or not. If you don't want to help someone, don't, it's that simple. If someone keeps going in circles and you've said everything you can to try to help them, it is best to come with a polite way to tell them that right away rather than waiting until they drive you crazy. It doesn't make you a bad person not to go to great lengths to help someone, you have your own life to live and I think that most reasonable people understand that.

If someone we care about feels upset about a situation they seem to be stuck in, we have to let them express their emotions without feeling manipulated by them. We can avoid feeling manipulated in such a way by remembering that they are responsible for themselves in the end and by establishing boundaries.

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