What INTROVERTS need to know about introverts

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default What INTROVERTS need to know about introverts

Post by Nucky on Wed Mar 27, 2013 3:00 am

I found this in a blog, and I agree with it completely. Thoughts?

http://introvertcat.tumblr.com/post/46321518045/what-introverts-need-to-understand-about-introverts-as

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default Re: What INTROVERTS need to know about introverts

Post by tezorian on Wed Mar 27, 2013 5:21 am

1. Dude, NOBODY LIKES SMALL TALK. Itís fucking boring, extroverts think so too, but you do it anyway because itís polite. Itís not an ďextrovert skill,Ē itís a SOCIAL SKILL, and you should probably work on it a little bit so you donít sound like a dick all the time. The idea is that small talk is supposed to lead to a BETTER conversation.
That's an assumption. Lots of people love small talk, because anything "better" can be really uncomfortable. Some people do NOT like to think and stick to small talk. Some people don't like to talk about their problems or their life, they rather talk about keeping up appearances.


2. You having a lousy time at this party is BUMMING EVERYBODY OUT. Parties are supposed to be fun! When that extroverted friend comes over and tries to get you to dance, and you donít want to dance, and all you can think about is how much you donít want to dance and how resentful you are that your friend is trying to make you do it anyway, your friend is not being the selfish one. Maybe sheís being a little misguided, because she doesnít know that the dancing will only make it worse! But what SHE sees is her friend having a lousy night, and bringing down the atmosphere, so she wants to help you and everyone around you have a good time. So make an effort to have a good time, or just go outside where itís quiet. Itís cool, everybody understands.
Two things here. Why are you having a lousy time? Because you feel you should? That's a good way to make it even more lousy. Secondly, if this friend says it's bumming everybody out, they are not having fun either, they are pretending to have fun too. Something to think about, see #1

3. EVERYBODY UNDERSTANDS. Something like thirty percent of the human race is introverted, so if your peer group is over the age of about 16, all the extroverts in your life have had time to figure this out. Theyíve got an introverted friend, or sister, or boyfriend, they understand the concept. If you really donít want to dance, and youíre tired and stressed out, and you need to go recharge your fun battery for an hour, just say something, itís fine.
Not everybody understands. They may say they understand, they may want to understand, that doesn't mean they do. And there are those that don't want to. See #1. And because of #1, it doesn't mean they are fine with it. But yes, it IS indeed fine.

4. Being shallow is not an extroverted quality, itís a human quality. Weíre all shallow. Iím pretty sure the introvert population on Tumblr is like 90%, and all we talk about is Jensen Acklesí cheekbones and Chris Evansís ass Benedict Cumberbatchís piercing, soulful eyes.
See #1

5. Acting like weíre the only ones living deep, meaningful, interesting inner lives is snobbish and hurtful, come on. Extroverts think about real shit. Extroverts write and paint and read books. Extroverts feel scared sometimes, and insecure, and they struggle with their demons. Weíre all just stupid fuckers trying our best out here, so drop the attitude and just treat people like people.
This one has the most truth in it and it's a good one to self-reflect on.

If i am right, you will feel this reply as some sort of attack against you personally. That's ok. Because these are the things you are struggling with. Address feelings you don't want to feel. It's also the reason why this speaks to you. It's about feeling you are not allowed to be yourself and that it's not ok to be how you are. It's about feeling and being alone. The feeling of being misunderstood and despite the fact that so many people are struggling with the same thing, it still feels noone understands you.
It's that thought that keeps it all going, "Why is it me against the world?". It feels unfair and it is. That thought that is, because in fact it's just one person fighting him or herself.

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default Re: What INTROVERTS need to know about introverts

Post by Reamsie on Wed Mar 27, 2013 8:57 am

It's one person's opinions of his observations and you know what they say about opinions.

I'm not going to re-quote the whole thing so responses correspond to the same numbers in the blog:

#1. This is an opinion as far as everyone not liking small talk. However, I happen to be one of those people who doesn't like small talk and it is something that I personally work at. So it is a skill that even us introverts can develop.

#2. Ah! Gotta love the misguided and well meaning friend. It's been my experience that most of the time the rest of the "party goers" aren't really dwelling or agonizing over the fact that one "wallflower" might not be having fun. The only two people not having fun - the introvert who doesn't want to be there and the extrovert who nagged and guilted the introvert into coming to a place they knew the introvert didn't want to be in the first place and is now frustrated that your personality didn't magically change the second you walked through the door. My bff is ESFJ so I can relate. She is a beautiful vibrant social butterfly that can literally carry a conversation with anyone and everyone is her friend. Even after 20 years she will occasionally try to get me to go with her somewhere I know I will absolutely have an awful time. And stupidly I give in and then we remember why our normal routine works. Very Happy Maybe its that the introverts who have extroverted friends should be ok with the fact that they can't go everywhere with them and that they shouldn't feel guilty for having a good time without you.

#3 Bullshit. My mother told me there were words that you don't use to describe people/feelings/situations: Never, All, Always and EVERYBODY.

#4 See answer to #3

#5 Applies to everyone and is probably the truest point he actually made.

Any article is worthwhile if it causes us to have self reflection and examine ourselves. So still a good share.

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default Re: What INTROVERTS need to know about introverts

Post by Nucky on Wed Mar 27, 2013 5:34 pm

tezorian wrote:
If i am right, you will feel this reply as some sort of attack against you personally. That's ok. Because these are the things you are struggling with. Address feelings you don't want to feel. It's also the reason why this speaks to you. It's about feeling you are not allowed to be yourself and that it's not ok to be how you are. It's about feeling and being alone. The feeling of being misunderstood and despite the fact that so many people are struggling with the same thing, it still feels noone understands you.
It's that thought that keeps it all going, "Why is it me against the world?". It feels unfair and it is. That thought that is, because in fact it's just one person fighting him or herself.

*sigh* I REALLY didn't want to make this thread all about me, but I do need to address this and set the record straight now that it's been brought up.

Actually I've been a lot happier with myself lately, and I've been feeling more and more over the past few months that it's ok to be myself and to address my feelings. One thing that I've moved on from completely is blaming others for my problems and taking the victim role. I've been making changes, but only because I want to, not because I think that I should or that I have to to make others happy. But the last time you were active here I was indeed very much still struggling with that. I guess I still do a little bit, but not nearly as much as I used to.

I do believe that it is possible to be true to oneself and respectful towards others at the same time, and THAT is why the article spoke to me.

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default Re: What INTROVERTS need to know about introverts

Post by Alethia on Wed Mar 27, 2013 7:02 pm

Good on you nucky for defending your share and space...and showing us where you truly reside....bravo to you...

And yes I felt your words....really felt them...xxx
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default Re: What INTROVERTS need to know about introverts

Post by Nucky on Thu Mar 28, 2013 3:54 am

Thank you Alethia.

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default Re: What INTROVERTS need to know about introverts

Post by anarkandi on Thu Mar 28, 2013 2:24 pm

Smile)) This thread makes me happy.

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default Re: What INTROVERTS need to know about introverts

Post by Zen on Thu Mar 28, 2013 5:12 pm

Wow whoever wrote that blog thing was pretty angry and resentful about something or other and have issues conforming to society.
They use a lot of strong words (like "shallow") with tons of meaning in a very black and white way.

lol they make it sound like shy and introverted are automatically the same thing and not wanting to participate in the same things mainstream groups want is automatically being shy.

I can be extroverted and social butterfly in the right group. I hate loud ass music in parties and drunk people flailing around wreaking of booze. It's not about getting dragged out to dance. I've had fun with that before, it's the damn noise and environment which isn't my thing lol.

In my finding you have to work hard to be shallow as a human, as most people naturally have a story behind them and humans are emotional creatures---however some people achieve it and doesn't matter what your MBTI is for that.
Some people like small talk, and sometimes what appears as small talk isn't useless noise lol. Context and connection over content.


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