Expectations and the Law of Attractions

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Post by melodiccolor on Mon Oct 19, 2009 4:00 pm

There is this belief that if you have faith something is going to happen, it will; that the universe will provide. Maybe not in the way you expect and you have to keep an eye out for the opportunity when it does arrive, but it works. I had not heard of this before coming to the HSP boards.

Some fervently believe in this. Others think this is pie in the sky optimism. I know most of you think you know what my views are on this, but I may surprise you yet.

What are your view on this; what are your experiences about this? I'll post of mine later.

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Post by Nucky on Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:02 pm

I think that, considering some of the things I've been through, I'm doing quite well at the moment. As bleak as things have seemed for me for a while, I've always had a feeling that somehow things would be ok in the end. And so far, life isn't too bad considering what I've been through.

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Post by RBM on Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:22 pm

My belief in the Law of Attraction can most likely be traced back to my reading of Jane Robert's Seth material which proposes that we are co-creators in our reality.

As corroboration is common for me ( connecting seemingly disparate dots ) here is a My Big TOE forum search for the term Law of Attraction from which one can see mention of Seth's name. As one commenter puts it; 'Consciousness supports evolution towards Love'.

It is easy to see the 'Law' when 'good' things happen, it's not so easy to see the 'Law' when 'bad' things happen.
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Post by JackNConnor on Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:29 pm

I teach the Law of Attraction, it's what I do for a living. It's a relief to me that I am completely and utterly responsible for everything in my experience. Coming to this understanding of the universe has obliterated 90% of my fear and jacked up my self-esteem in ways I would never have dreamed possible.

Gotta run some errands, more later.

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Post by Nucky on Mon Oct 19, 2009 9:49 pm

Another thought I just had on this:

Sometimes, people who take the best care of themselves are the hardest on themselves healthwise. If they screw up even a little bit, they are convinced that the worst will happen. And then the worst DOES happen. And people say to themselves "it's so unfair that so many people I know who don't take good care of themselves ended up living longer than this person! Why is life like that?" If those happy-go-lucky people never feared any consequences, the law of attraction may partly explain why.

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Post by JackNConnor on Mon Oct 19, 2009 11:08 pm

nuckinfutz wrote:Another thought I just had on this:

Sometimes, people who take the best care of themselves are the hardest on themselves healthwise. If they screw up even a little bit, they are convinced that the worst will happen. And then the worst DOES happen. And people say to themselves "it's so unfair that so many people I know who don't take good care of themselves ended up living longer than this person! Why is life like that?" If those happy-go-lucky people never feared any consequences, the law of attraction may partly explain why.

That's because it's not about what you do, it's about what you believe about what you do. If you jog five miles a day and hate it, you'll get very little benefit for your investment, and maybe even some injuries to boot. If you jog five miles a day and relish it, you will effortlessly maintain a healthy body. It's just an example but the world is awash with examples. If you jog five miles a day but believe it is very hard for you to lose weight, or you believe you are too old to reap any benefit from it anymore, or you believe that the city air is bad for your lungs, or you believe that people are laughing at you and judging you as you run, guess what the outcome's gonna be?

You've heard of the placebo effect: believing you will receive benefit from something, say a pill, will often produce the expected benefit whether the pill contains medication or not. There is also a nocebo effect, wherein a belief that something is bad for you will produce bad results if you participate in it. Put simply, absolutely everything you do to yourself is either a placebo or a nocebo and the only rule of thumb about it is what you believe. The human body is stupefying in its ability to adapt, and it's taking its orders from you, not medical journals, not the latest nutrition reports on the proper shape of the Food Pyramid, and definitely not holy books of any kind. Well...not unless you believe in any of the above.

Your thoughts, and subsequently your mind and brain, are so powerful, you can maintain health in a deplorable situation or become ill for no apparent reason in the best of surroundings. Genetics are balderdash; if I used those who went before me as my guide to my own health, I'd be dead by now and after a long, hard, miserable struggle. No, thanks. As a matter of fact, I've cured myself of everything from multiple spinal subluxations to nearsightedness simply by deciding not to see myself as a sick person anymore.

The secret to outstanding health is to feel that what you are doing is good and right for you, feel it deep in your bones, regardless of external stimuli and feedback. The worst thing you could do is anything that you believe is bad or wrong. So, if you believe Doritos and cheese in a jar are just food and won't hurt you a bit, snarf 'em down. If you believe you cannot eat dairy without humiliating gastrointestinal pyrotechnics, I'd stay away from the ice cream. Take the multivitamin because you feel better when you do, not because you are afraid of what will happen if you don't.

And don't forget, you're changing every day, inside and out, according to your mood. That's why I always prescribe dirty jokes for my friends when they are under the weather. The doctor is in! Mwuh-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaa! (evil laugh)

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default Re: Expectations and the Law of Attractions

Post by Oneiros on Tue Oct 20, 2009 11:50 am

Hmmm. I believe that everything is destiny. If that thing is meant for you, it will come regardless of what you try to do, and whether you want it or not. If it's not meant for you, no matter how hard you try, it won't happen (I'm still struggling to learn this though).

This probably sounds a bit narrow-minded, lol. But from my experience, it has been mind-blowing... I could not have ever conceived of some of the things that I've experienced, and the places I have ended up, the ways of getting there... It really makes me doubt that I am the one controlling my life. I don't believe in God, but there is something beyond my comprehension occurring.
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default Re: Expectations and the Law of Attractions

Post by RBM on Tue Oct 20, 2009 1:15 pm

I would also note that there is an argument that proposes the 'Law of Attraction' is more correctly stated as the 'Principle of Creation'. One advantage I see with the latter statement is it dissolves the consideration of human value judgment within the statement itself.
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default Re: Expectations and the Law of Attractions

Post by JackNConnor on Tue Oct 20, 2009 2:31 pm

RBM wrote:I would also note that there is an argument that proposes the 'Law of Attraction' is more correctly stated as the 'Principle of Creation'. One advantage I see with the latter statement is it dissolves the consideration of human value judgment within the statement itself.


My research is founded on quantum physics where it meets thought energy, arguably the leading edge of the physical sciences and a highly volatile one for many of the established scientific canon. Since matter can neither be created nor destroyed, only shifted around into different forms, I've never heard of it being associated with creation of any nature. Unless you mean the creation of a new form of matter, which gets sticky in its interpretation since our many methods of "creating" new forms of matter are simply a shift of focus between multiple forms (realities) that are all occurring simultaneously. Any one of them can be effortlessly activated or blocked or reversed through a simple change in focus. It seems things are being created when in fact, we are simply turning one light on instead of another. There are infinite light switches--how cool is that?

I don't like the phrase "Law of Attraction," either, because it's misleading. We don't "attract," it's not like we are over here and something we want is over there and now we are dragging it over to where we are. That's too spacial. It's tough to reconcile states of being that way. We are actually "activating" or "resonating" or "empowering" or "turning on one switch instead of another" but it's not as catchy and tough to stuff onto a business card. I'm working on it. Plus, the negative publicity of "The Secret" has left a bad taste in my brain that I have not been able to shake; I prefer to differentiate myself as an instructor of universal physical laws empowered by our focused thoughts. Again, a business card is only 3.5" by 2".

The Law of Attraction idea stems from an even more fundamental law of the universe (actually, the most fundamental one we've uncovered so far, but then we are always learning) which is that it is a vibrational universe. Everything vibrates in our physical and nonphysical reality on a quantum level and this produces frequencies that we use to navigate our experience. Your eyes measure frequencies of light, your ears measure frequencies of sound, your taste buds, believe it or not, measure frequencies of chemicals that your brain interprets as taste. You are also producing frequencies as you go with your thoughts, your organs, etc.

The most obvious thing about frequencies is that they resonate with each other. That means that similar frequencies are connected at a quantum level and beyond. Called Entanglement Theory, among other things, in quantum physics, this connection is absolute and instantaneous: everything on a particular frequency is connected at any given time. The instant you focus on a particular frequency (and arguably a few instants before), absolutely everything on that frequency, and only that frequency, is now available to you. Time and space are not a factor (because they actually do not exist, but that's a whole 'nother Oprah) which explains why I can do clairvoyant readings for people I've never met before in Australia right now.

So, it's an inclusive universe. You include things into your experience by focusing on them and resonating with them. You cannot remove things you don't want by working to get rid of them, because if you're focusing, you're including. Focus is power. That's why focusing on receiving more money is infinitely more profitable than focusing on getting out of debt. One is "money," the other is "debt." This is how you choose, the answer is always YES.

Just think of your consciousness as a magical pair of binoculars that activates whatever to point them at: money, debt, whining people, kind people, cancer, a beautiful head of hair, rush hour traffic, a parking space right in front, everything on sale, everything for free, physical stamina, great sex, mean who leave, women who encourage, friendly dogs, and squirrels eating the strawberries in your garden. You can't say, "Gimme lots and lots and lots of A because I love it so much, a little of B, I haven't made my mind up about C so just hold off on that, but I definitely hate D, and I can't stand people who have D, so while you're at it, just get rid of all the D on the planet." The universe has received, "Lots of A, some of B, more of C, and tons of D."

Want to know how well you are doing? It's easy: whatever you are living is what you believe and what you are focusing on. You have the life you think most about. If there are things in your experience that you'd rather not have, don't spend any more time researching them, reading books on them, asking experts about them, talking to your friends about them, or praying about them. All that is just asking for more of the same. Instead, imagine yourself in the experience you'd prefer and find as many ways as you can to get into that feeling and hold it. How something feels is your measuring tool for how successfully you are drawing it to you. If you can't imagine yourself perfectly healthy or madly in love or excitingly rich, get as close as you can to how it would feel to be those things and work your way up from there. Stop looking at what is and start choosing what you want.

This runs counter to social mores which instruct us to focus on the problem, wrestle it to the ground, and kill it. As Dr. Phil would say, "How's that workin' for ya?"

As for "human value judgment," I've yet to discover a more charged word--especially in this country--than the word creation in regards to defining the Universe and how it works. I personally eschew it, along with the words "religion," "will," and "failure." None of them exist, they are actually "belief," "focus," and "current state." All are in constant motion and all are up to you. Again, very cool.

JackNConnor


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default Re: Expectations and the Law of Attractions

Post by Bluedream on Tue Oct 20, 2009 2:46 pm

Everyone's thoughts are wonderful...and i can't add much more that hasn't already been said except to say that one should always feel grateful for the things or situations that have led up to 'now'. I too believe in some sort of destiny per se. Yeah...things can go sideways a bit because of certain choices we make...and the 'destiny' may sway or vary a bit...but I have to believe in purpose for my existence. I can also be thankful or grateful for what I have now...no matter how insubstantial it may appear.
My way of giving back positively to that great 'conscious collective'...energy...'god'... whatever that may be out there...and to which we are an essential part of...like it, accept it...or not.
Yes...in that thought...we can control things far better in a positive light than crawling about negatively and blind throughout this existence.
It's called 'hope'! Positively! And...if a small kernal of positive faith can move great mountains...then...I believe it can! So...I shall!
My thoughts...
peace...b.d.
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Post by melodiccolor on Tue Oct 20, 2009 5:23 pm

There is so much to consider here, I hardly know where to begin. I'll probably state my thoughts and impressions in several posts as I'm still mulling a lot of it over.

One thing that occures to me; that we can have perfect health simpy by believing we do have it and experiencing it belies getting blindsided from time to time on things we were definately NOT focusing on; it wasn't a part of our reality. Such things includes the progressive disability I was born with or the life threatening cancer that derailed another member's life. We both believed we could recover and indeed we both have to an extent. But I still live with the effects of that disability and she still lives with the aftermath of that cancer.

Perhaps we can irradicate these things, but how did we get them in the first place if, as is stated, we never even thought of those things?

There is merrit in the idea that if you put in your wishes for more money and then just go about your life, just having that focus there in the back of your mind will cause events to happen to deliver it. I am coming to believe in that.

But before I heard of this idea, I had learned from experience that no matter what I do or try, however it turns out is in fact the right path for me. If it doesn't work out exactly as planned, it always leads to a new path and the lessons learned along the way, the knowledge gained has always served me well. This is a bit different than focusing on an outcome and it seems to be just as valid.

Time and space may indeed be meaningless. I have a fairly decent background in quaatum mechanics and m theory as well. But while I can read anyone anywere on the planet with ease, I can not read off the earth. I know life is out there and we must be connected to it as a part of the universe, but I can't sense it that way I can life on earth. So I'm not sure it is entirely meaningless at all. I just know I am entangled firmly as part of the life of earth.

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Post by JackNConnor on Tue Oct 20, 2009 6:40 pm

melodiccolor wrote:One thing that occures to me; that we can have perfect health simpy by believing we do have it and experiencing it belies getting blindsided from time to time on things we were definately NOT focusing on; it wasn't a part of our reality. Such things includes the progressive disability I was born with or the life threatening cancer that derailed another member's life. We both believed we could recover and indeed we both have to an extent. But I still live with the effects of that disability and she still lives with the aftermath of that cancer.

Perhaps we can irradicate these things, but how did we get them in the first place if, as is stated, we never even thought of those things?

The answer is delightfully simple, melodi, and it clarifies some of the time/space stuff. Most of our individual self not "here" in this physical world. We are a ubiquitous energy, connected to everything. That's where the ability to cross great distances with a single reading makes sense--it's not a great distance if they are already a part of you in the greater scheme of things. It's not a big deal to take a moment and consider whether or not your feet are warm or cold, is it? Well, that's no different than considering how things are going in Australia. You are as connected to your tootsies as you are to the Land Down Under. So far, scientists explain this via the Big Bang Theory; in a nutshell, since we are all little pieces that exploded out from one piece, we are all connected (Entanglement Theory.)

For us ubiquitous-energy-types, this life as we call it is just a blip on our time line, just a moment. I've heard it described as breathing in and breathing out, being physical and being nonphysical. We do it for the experience because we love the thrill of it. Some confusion reigns as so the cumulative effect of this, such as reincarnation, karma, etc. (Yes, energy can be brought forth from one physical experience to the next but it has nothing to do with moral judgments about trying to get to a higher, more perfect state. It's simply that the individual was focusing a lot on something and it was strong enough to carry over. Kind of like the way a bad day at work can carry over to nasty rush hour experiences on the highway and then over to arguments with your spouse before bed), but it dissipates upon the realization of two important facts: your point of power is now and your "reason for living" is for the experience.

Your point of power is now, what you are focusing on right now. Since you cannot focus from the past or the future, only from this moment, then you are not beholden to those times. (The past, present, and future are all occurring simultaneously, anyway, right in this moment, so past = now, future = now, now = now.) If you decide to activate in your mind a memory of something that has happened or a worry about something that may happen, what you are doing is holding a vibration of that something in your now. There is no karma, subconscious thought, or destiny that is affecting you unless you are giving your attention to it by thinking about it.

Your reason for living is experiential, and that experience is supposed to be fun. Life is the joy of being able to play with a physical world, mess around in it, learn how to focus and develop desires and manifestations, and try out all sorts of forms of it. To our greater selves--that part of us that is energy--all experience is fun and exciting. From that perspective, there is no death, no limitations, no threat of any kind. It's all just one big pile of molding clay and we love to push it around.

We only get hung up on illness and death when we think life is a one shot deal and we have no control over it. If you only get one and its a crap shoot, then yeah, everything would be bloody important, competition between individuals would assume a fever pitch, and aging would be terrifying as hell. Oh, wait--we're already there! If people could wrap their minds around the idea that we are like perpetual children with that big pile of molding clay and we want to try out all the shapes (and we get unlimited chances to do so), then negative experiences reveal themselves as temporary and not nearly so threatening.

If you are here for the experience and you have complete control over everything in that experience, what is illness? It's a temporary focus on something other than health that can be changed at any time. If you are born with illness, you are not condemned, you are simply starting with a crazy shape of clay and now you get to see what you can do with it. Illnesses and other interesting challenges are stimulating for us, they give us an opportunity to really flex our focusing muscles and see how far we can go. Would a child rather play on one rope swing for the rest of his life or an entire jungle gym of swings, bars, ladders, slides, tunnels, sand traps, merry-go-rounds, and forts? Yeah, he's gonna fall occasionally on all that crazy stuff, maybe even skin his knee or break his leg, but he's still gonna wanna get right back out there and play as soon as possible.

Remove all the undesirable stuff from your experience and you've got real death, true death. The unwanted helps us decide what we do want, it impels us towards our desires, which causes the universe to expand right along with us. Ever notice how great a warm building feels when you step into it out of the cold? Would it feel that great if the temperature were the same inside and out? Perfection is wrapping paper and a bow on an empty box. If you are unhappy with where you are, that's great news, because you're guaranteed an adventure as you reach towards what you want, and boy, is it going to feel good when you get there. There is nothing you cannot achieve, and that ain't just a line in a Hallmark card.

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Post by RBM on Tue Oct 20, 2009 9:40 pm

JackNConnor wrote:Since matter can neither be created nor destroyed, only shifted around into different forms, I've never heard of it being associated with creation of any nature.

As I understand it, the above is true once the boundary into the physical reality has been crossed. Prior to that boundary, there is the non-physical state.
This has been called the virtual state - it is sub quantum.

Thus the act of creation can be said to be a changed state from virtual (and non-physical) to physical. Seems like a fairly important distinction to me, and not just semantics.
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Post by JackNConnor on Tue Oct 20, 2009 10:35 pm

RBM wrote:a changed state from virtual (and non-physical) to physical

The possibility of something is as real as the physical existence of it and impacts the universe far more powerfully. A possibility is defined by thought (thought energy), which as we know, affects reality in the end. That is to say, every thought or idea contains the existential reality of itself and the potential of its physical manifestation all at once. This dual reality is tough to reconcile with a habitually physically-ordered world: we have been taught to call something real when it appears as physically real in front of our eyes, not when we are pondering it as an idea. Ideas are not really "real," we are told, and have no mass, no form, no predictable structure that can be mapped out into a mathematical formula, and so they do not exist.

Yet, an idea contains within it all the possible outcomes of one manifestation collapsed into a single form while simultaneously holding all contingent possibilities as potential energy. Potential energy is a little bit like an unexploded fire cracker. If every idea predictably affects reality with its vibrations, and within every single idea is an infinite set of more ideas, that's a lot of power. (If you doubt the power of potential energy, do a little reading on nuclear warfare and the atom.) This is why just a little bit of thought on a subject can suddenly wield enormous dividends--just a little focus can open a door to all the possibilities of a new idea that were not available to you before. It suddenly makes sense to pay attention to what you're thinking about on a daily basis, hunh? One thing truly does lead to another....

Calling only the physical world real is a little like taking landscape photographs. You see this sweeping view of mountains, clouds, rolling hills, and wildflowers and are moved to preserve it with your camera. The instant you put a frame around it--just those mountains in the middle with a few hills in front, one cloud, and a handful of wildflowers--you've limited the view to a specific area and you've lost the enormity of it that impassioned you to whip out your digital in the first place. That's why we're always saying, "The picture doesn't do it justice." Physical reality doesn't do the universe justice. But that's okay, physical reality is constantly changing; it actually takes more energy to stay in a rut than it does to allow things to move into new forms.

I believe quantum physics and theory is hindered by its devotion to using physical matter and states as a measuring tool for reality and that's why I only keep one eye on the scientific journals and headlines these days. Thought energy, for lack of a better term, is far more powerful. (I'm hoping a greater understanding will produce more poignant terms. It's very androcentric, for example, to call it "thought" energy, when energies focused by things without a consciousness by our human standards can manipulate the vibrational universe just as readily, and have been doing so long before we came onto the scene.)

It is a richer, more satisfying and exciting life to devote the most attention to one's thoughts and feelings than to their physical ramifications. The physical shifts constantly, but it is the last step of reality. Paying all one's attention to the physical world and trying to change it by hammering away at it rather than redirecting the energy that produced it is akin to waving at the smoke instead of extinguishing the flames below it. Thus the War on Terror, the War on Drugs, the War on Poverty, the Fight Against AIDS, and the War on Cancer all march on. Hammer, hammer, hammer.

Yet, we have a society that applauds and rewards "hard work," meaning work on the physical plane, and punishes wool gathering, day dreaming, and devoting ourselves to imagination. Einstein said, "I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world." He also said, "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." Lest these quotes be interpreted out of context, I will point out that he was not in favor of anything like the current ideas of quantum physics, much less the Law of Attraction. He was hopelessly devoted to the physical world and truculently defended his axiom that all things real must be proven to be real mathematically. You cannot prove a possibility mathematically, therefor quantum physics does not hold up. On a walk back from the Institute for Advanced Study in Princeton with the late Abraham Pais under a beautiful night sky, Einstein asked Pais, "Do you really believe the moon is not there when you are not looking at it?"

I've been exploring the leading edge of science clairvoyantly and although I can feel the dawning of some new kind of understanding on the horizon, I can't quite articulate it yet. It's a feeling so far, a sense that there is an even simpler is-ness to reality that we are perhaps unable to comprehend thus far. We will no doubt evolve to accommodate it. Quantum physics will sure have to.

"The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper," Eden Phillpotts

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Post by SimplyNan on Tue Oct 20, 2009 10:43 pm

I don't know all the fancy words, although I am aware of quantum physics somewhat. What I do know is that thought is very powerful and goes before any action. It has been proven to me time and time again. Most recently, about a year ago, I was job hunting. Now, I nearing onto retirement age so age can be a factor against me, or maybe not. Anyway, the economy was rapidly dropping and here I was, job hunting yet again. I looked at things and allowed myself to get dragged into the morass, where I stayed briefly. And then my spiritual studies came into play and I said, hmm, what am I doing here? I am allowing myself to think myself into this mess. So I changed my thought patterns, came up and out of the dumps, and landed a job. Not the greatest paying job but I have some very nice co-workers and great benefits. I am content.

I am also a cancer survivor. When it was discovered about 10 years back, it was a shock to not only me but also my doctor. Anyway, I saw it as a cosmic thump alongside my head to get out of the mess I was mired in and get my life moving again. It propelled me onto finding my authentic self, as opposed to whatever the heck I was projecting previously. Quite a journey.

Anyway, I do believe that all actions commence with my thoughts. Which goes to show that Jimmy Carter was right about not lusting for other women in his heart. I often catch myself with negative thoughts and have to remind myself to toss them away. Don't want none of that stinking negativity trolling around me!!
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Post by JackNConnor on Tue Oct 20, 2009 10:50 pm

SimplyNan wrote:I don't know all the fancy words, although I am aware of quantum physics somewhat. What I do know is that thought is very powerful and goes before any action. It has been proven to me time and time again. Most recently, about a year ago, I was job hunting. Now, I nearing onto retirement age so age can be a factor against me, or maybe not. Anyway, the economy was rapidly dropping and here I was, job hunting yet again. I looked at things and allowed myself to get dragged into the morass, where I stayed briefly. And then my spiritual studies came into play and I said, hmm, what am I doing here? I am allowing myself to think myself into this mess. So I changed my thought patterns, came up and out of the dumps, and landed a job. Not the greatest paying job but I have some very nice co-workers and great benefits. I am content.

I am also a cancer survivor. When it was discovered about 10 years back, it was a shock to not only me but also my doctor. Anyway, I saw it as a cosmic thump alongside my head to get out of the mess I was mired in and get my life moving again. It propelled me onto finding my authentic self, as opposed to whatever the heck I was projecting previously. Quite a journey.

Anyway, I do believe that all actions commence with my thoughts. Which goes to show that Jimmy Carter was right about not lusting for other women in his heart. I often catch myself with negative thoughts and have to remind myself to toss them away. Don't want none of that stinking negativity trolling around me!!

You're fantastic, Nan! And one hundred points for using the word "morass." (tee-hee!)

JackNConnor
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Post by RBM on Wed Oct 21, 2009 12:29 pm

JackNConnor wrote:Our "creation" is simply the manipulation of the clay, to borrow from my earlier metaphor, but the clay is already there. Call the clay energy and the manipulation of it, vibrational focus.

An explanation by a physicist that sounds true to me -our 'creation' is merely collapsing probability waves located in the virtual state, with the intent of our consciousness.

SimplyNan wrote:Not the greatest paying job but I have some very nice co-workers and great benefits. I am content.

Coming from a similar situation; job loss/retraining and starting a new career at the age of Senior Citizen with 5 years post-Cancer :-)

While I have a job that I like, with a boss that I like (he and his family also experienced a UFO sighting 'up close and personal'), there is much room for improvement in my vocational status. I'm continuously working on that ...
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Post by JackNConnor on Wed Oct 21, 2009 12:52 pm

I just edited my previous post, RBM. I sure am having fun writing about this. Needless to say, I have not lately been surrounded by types who enjoy discussing the nature of thought and reality over a cup of Chai. I'm in a fundamentalist Christian neighborhood at present (sigh) but reality is changing all the time....

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Post by JackNConnor on Wed Oct 21, 2009 12:57 pm

RBM wrote:An explanation by a physicist that sounds true to me -our 'creation' is merely collapsing probability waves located in the virtual state, with the intent of our consciousness.

I understand that as a definition of the creative process, circa "What the Bleep Do We Know?" (Man, I love that movie!), I simply expand the definition to include the ideas (thought energy) that produced the virtual state probability waves that collapsed into one temporary form through our focus (intent). Whew! Say that five times real fast. Hahaha!

JackNConnor

PS: It's fun playing with you, I'm so glad you're in the sandbox with me! My brain is breathing more deeply these days.
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Post by melodiccolor on Wed Oct 21, 2009 4:14 pm

This is all fascinating, but I keep coming back to one point. We are part of a larger continuum. All of us; all life and more has the same influence on reality or whatever you wish to call it. We may have influence on its outcome but others can impose their's as well. The virus will, as will the ant, another person, etc. And what they wish may interfer with what you want as an outcome.

So even if we focus, the outcome may be mutable. Nothing is that predictable or simple.

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Post by JackNConnor on Wed Oct 21, 2009 6:29 pm

melodiccolor wrote:This is all fascinating, but I keep coming back to one point. We are part of a larger continuum. All of us; all life and more has the same influence on reality or whatever you wish to call it. We may have influence on its outcome but others can impose their's as well. The virus will, as will the ant, another person, etc. And what they wish may interfer with what you want as an outcome.

So even if we focus, the outcome may be mutable. Nothing is that predictable or simple.

It's delightfully predictable and deliciously simple!

First and foremost, your point of power is now and your point of power is you. No one "attracts" for you, no one affects your reality unless you allow yourself to be influenced by them. It's like the saying "You can't chew someone else's food." You cannot live someone else's life and they cannot live yours. They cannot even cause a dent in yours, not without your permission. You can use them as your excuse to lose your focus and start focusing on something undesirable, but you are deluding yourself. What's "out there" is your clay, you get to use it any way you choose, the clay does not use you.

Instead, this is actually how it works: Bob screams at Ann, Ann decides to be hurt and angry by this experience, Ann goes home with headache. Or, Bob decides to rape someone tonight, Ann is afraid of rapists and shivers all the way to her car in the darkened parking lot, Bob notices Ann from the shadows. Or, Bob is a reporter on the evenings news who informs Ann that the economy is crashing, Ann panics and starts worrying about her portfolio, the next day Ann's credit card rates increase and she bounces a check. These are not chance and they are not unavoidable, they all make perfect sense. These events and individuals line up vibrationally and connect with one another. All they have to do to miss one another is to alter ONE of their vibrations.

Take Ann, for instance. Ann could remove herself from screaming Bob and remind herself that she has many loving friends who only wish her joy or she could decide Bob is not himself today (reminding herself she is not to blame and he could be screaming at the next person as easily as her) and blow it off or she could go home and go for a walk around her neighborhood. All three could do the trick of raising her vibration from one of vulnerability to one of strength and calm before a headache had a chance to manifest behind her eyes.

Instead of walking to her car at night in a fit of trepidation and anxiety, Ann could maintain a daily practice of noticing all the wonderful, safe, happy people around her or she could focus on the growing muscles she's noticing in her thighs since she started that new walking program after work, or she hold the image of her lovely, unconditional ball of love, Speckle, her nine pound little terrier dog who is wiggling all over right now, anticipating her return, ready to cover her with wet kisses. All these evoke a feeling of self-worth, strength, and being loved--the opposite vibration of being a rape victim.

Ann could change the channel from Bob and his dismal report on the economy to a show that highlights young entrepreneurs and how they are making it big, or she could close her eyes and fantasize about how wonderful it will feel to be lounging on that new dark chocolate microsuede sofa that she noticed in the new Elm Street catalog, or she could look around her apartment and feel appreciation for the abundance of wonderful things she already has. Her focus would be on abundance, not the lack of it.

Only things you are vibrating with are ever in your experience. If something is in your experience that does not feel good, you have been vibrating on that level long enough for it to manifest for you. You don't have to be focusing on that specific thing, focusing on things that suck just as bad will do the trick nicely. So long as you are able to tip the scales enough in a certain direction, if you can manage to hit your personal critical mass point for any subject, it's on its way.

There's a buffer of time between the inception of an idea and it's physical manifestation: more than 99% of anything you are focusing on is complete before it becomes "reality" as we know it. The speed at which it manifests is directly proportional to your belief in it's possibility. That means if you believe a parking space right in front is easy to achieve and happens all the time, it will happen all the time. (It happens every time for me!) But if you, say, believe that money is hard to come by, cash windfalls are rare, there are astronomical odds against you ever getting out of debt in your lifetime, you have to work hard to earn money, and you are listening to Bob, I can guarantee you that you ain't winning the lottery any time soon.

Same goes for health. Let me ask you this: is health easier or harder to maintain as you get older? I can predict your health in ten years by your answer. With 100% accuracy. If you are getting sicker and sicker, you are spending too much time focusing on your sickness and everything that feels just as bad and not enough time focusing on health and freedom and joy and what have you. Remember the magical binoculars--whatever you have them trained on is yours.

Your binoculars. Not Bob's. If Bob yells at you and you swing your binoculars over to address Bob and give him your attention, then you've got a face full of Bob. The Bob Channel. Bob cannot reach out and yank the binoculars out of your hand and point them at his face any more than he can reach down into your consciousness and force you to pay attention to him. You are in charge. Yeah, "Bob" happens out there, there's a lot of Bob. But there's way more Ann than Bob in the world, it just seems the reverse because the media enjoys the predictability of influence through fear.

Example: there are waaaaaaaaay more people on the planet who are alive than dead but we get death tolls from several foreign conflicts on the evening news. There are waaaaaaaay more people who's heart and lungs worked fine all day today, thank you very much, but we get expose's on the recently uncovered side effects of heart medication Drug Z if we tune into 20/20. There are waaaaaaaaaay more animals who are thriving in their natural element than ones who are suffering at the hands of anybody but which statistic makes it onto page four of National Geographic? I got rid of my television and all periodicals in 2004. Ask me if I miss them.

To put it like my favorite teachers, the world is a big kitchen and you are here in this physical experience to have fun making a pie. The kitchen is stocked with absolutely everything, from good stuff to bad stuff, things you can't wait to taste and things you can't even imagine someone putting in their pie. You choose what makes it into your pie through your focus. None of those nasty ingredients can get near your pie if you don't reach for them. Other people may be mixing them in their own pies on a daily basis but that's their decision because that's their pie. Those awful things will only make it into your pie if you ponder them long enough. You each get one point of focus and one place to focus from: one pie.

I like pecan.

JackNConnor

Note: Here are those favorite teachers using the topic of gay rights to illustrate these points. Inspiring! Click on the large button of Esther speaking. http://www.lawofattractioninteraction.com/Gay_Rights_LawofAttraction_Videos.php


Last edited by JackNConnor on Sat Oct 24, 2009 1:56 pm; edited 1 time in total
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default Re: Expectations and the Law of Attractions

Post by melodiccolor on Wed Oct 21, 2009 7:55 pm

JackNConnor wrote:
melodiccolor wrote:This is all fascinating, but I keep coming back to one point. We are part of a larger continuum. All of us; all life and more has the same influence on reality or whatever you wish to call it. We may have influence on its outcome but others can impose their's as well. The virus will, as will the ant, another person, etc. And what they wish may interfer with what you want as an outcome.

So even if we focus, the outcome may be mutable. Nothing is that predictable or simple.

It's delightfully predictable and deliciously simple!

First and foremost, your point of power is now and your point of power is you. No one "attracts" for you, no one affects your reality unless you allow yourself to be influenced by them. It's like the saying "You can't chew someone else's food." You cannot live someone else's life and they cannot live yours. They cannot even cause a dent in yours, not without your permission. You can use them as your excuse to lose your focus and start focusing on something undesirable, but you are deluding yourself. What's "out there" is your clay, you get to use it any way you choose, the clay does not use you.

Instead, this is actually how it works: Bob screams at Ann, Ann decides to be hurt and angry by this experience, Ann goes home with headache. Or, Bob decides to rape someone tonight, Ann is afraid of rapists and shivers all the way to her car in the darkened parking lot, Bob notices Ann from the shadows. Or, Bob is a reporter on the evenings news who informs Ann that the economy is crashing, Ann panics and starts worrying about her portfolio, the next day Ann's credit card rates increase and she bounces a check. These are not chance and they are not unavoidable, they all make perfect sense. These events and individuals line up vibrationally and connect with one another. All they have to do to miss one another is to alter ONE of their vibrations.

Take Ann, for instance. Ann could remove herself from screaming Bob and remind herself that she has many loving friends who only wish her joy or she could decide Bob is not himself today (reminding herself she is not to blame and he could be screaming at the next person as easily as her) and blow it off or she could go home and go for a walk around her neighborhood. All three could do the trick of raising her vibration from one of vulnerability to one of strength and calm before a headache had a chance to manifest behind her eyes.

Instead of walking to her car at night in a fit of trepidation and anxiety, Ann could maintain a daily practice of noticing all the wonderful, safe, happy people around her or she could focus on the growing muscles she's noticing in her thighs since she started that new walking program after work, or she hold the image of her lovely, unconditional ball of love, Speckle, her nine pound little terrier dog who is wiggling all over right now, anticipating her return, ready to cover her with wet kisses. All these evoke a feeling of self-worth, strength, and being loved--the opposite vibration of being a rape victim.

Ann could change the channel from Bob and his dismal report on the economy to a show that highlights young entrepreneurs and how they are making it big, or she could close her eyes and fantasize about how wonderful it will feel to be lounging on that new dark chocolate microsuede sofa that she noticed in the new Elm Street catalog, or she could look around her apartment and feel appreciation for the abundance of wonderful things she already has. Her focus would be on abundance, not the lack of it.

Only things you are vibrating with are ever in your experience. If something is in your experience that does not feel good, you have been vibrating on that level long enough for it to manifest for you. You don't have to be focusing on that specific thing, focusing on things that suck just as bad will do the trick nicely. So long as you are able to tip the scales enough in a certain direction, if you can manage to hit your personal critical mass point for any subject, it's on its way.

There's a buffer of time between the inception of an idea and it's physical manifestation: more than 99% of anything you are focusing on is complete before it becomes "reality" as we know it. The speed at which it manifests is directly proportional to your belief in it's possibility. That means if you believe a parking space right in front is easy to achieve and happens all the time, it will happen all the time. (It happens every time for me!) But if you, say, believe that money is hard to come by, cash windfalls are rare, there are astronomical odds against you ever getting out of debt in your lifetime, you have to work hard to earn money, and you are listening to Bob, I can guarantee you that you ain't winning the lottery any time soon.

Same goes for health. Let me ask you this: is health easier or harder to maintain as you get older? I can predict your health in ten years by your answer. With 100% accuracy. If you are getting sicker and sicker, you are spending too much time focusing on your sickness and everything that feels just as bad and not enough time focusing on health and freedom and joy and what have you. Remember the magical binoculars--whatever you have them trained on is yours.

Your binoculars. Not Bob's. If Bob yells at you and you swing your binoculars over to address Bob and give him your attention, then you've got a face full of Bob. The Bob Channel. Bob cannot reach out and yank the binoculars out of your hand and point them at his face any more than he can reach down into your consciousness and force you to pay attention to him. You are in charge. Yeah, "Bob" happens out there, there's a lot of Bob. But there's way more Ann than Bob in the world, it just seems the reverse because the media enjoys the predictability of influence through fear.

Example: there are waaaaaaaaay more people on the planet who are alive than dead but we get death tolls from several foreign conflicts on the evening news. There are waaaaaaaay more people who's heart and lungs worked fine all day today, thank you very much, but we get expose's on the recently uncovered side effects of heart medication Drug Z if we tune into 20/20. There are waaaaaaaaaay more animals who are thriving in their natural element than ones who are suffering at the hands of anybody but which statistic makes it onto page four of National Geographic? I got rid of my television and all periodicals in 2004. Ask me if I miss them.

To put it like my favorite teachers, the world is a big kitchen and you are here in this physical experience to have fun making a pie. The kitchen is stocked with absolutely everything, from good stuff to bad stuff, things you can't wait to taste and things you can't even imagine someone putting in their pie. You choose what makes it into your pie through your focus. None of those nasty ingredients can get near your pie if you don't reach for them. Other people may be mixing them in their own pies on a daily basis but that's their decision because that's their pie. Those awful things will only make it into your pie if you ponder them long enough. You each get one point of focus and one place to focus from: one pie.

I like pecan.

JackNConnor

Note: Here are those favorite teachers using the topic of gay rights to illustrate these points. Inspiring! Click on the large button of Esther speaking.

OK, let's take another simple expample of this; Bob and Ann. Bob has obsessed on Ann and has followed her remotely. He has made elaborate plans to kidnap and rape her. Ann is focused on her daily life and is totally unaware of Bob. Whose focus prevails?

I'm not saying that focusing never works; I'm simply saying that sometimes it doesn't. There is interaction between beings with different focuses, even when one of those beings is totally focused elsewhere.

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Life is complex.  Parts of it are real and parts of it are imaginary.  (read in a novel by Gregory Benford.)

Absurdity is one of the great joys of life.

All you need for a rich life is to see more.
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Post by RBM on Wed Oct 21, 2009 8:08 pm

JackNConnor wrote:I believe quantum physics and theory is hindered by its devotion to using physical matter and states as a measuring tool for reality and that's why I only keep one eye on the scientific journals and headlines these days.

The advancing sciences into new frontiers of consciousness, inspite of the hindrances, certainly grabs my attention:

Can one's intention (non-physical) affect material (physical) objects ?

A new scientific model with Consciousness as The Larger Reality
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Post by SimplyNan on Wed Oct 21, 2009 8:38 pm

Oh, heck, cut to the chase, we are most definitely all interconnected. The native americans refer to Spider Grandma who spins the web of life that connects everything. Also, I did a visionquest some years back and in my altered state of mind, I could actually see the connecting threads. Ah, but I almost always sense the connections. I know when I connect positively with someone. For instance, I'm seriously contemplating moving. I liked the little community atmosphere and the landlord and the outside of the house. The inside, well, I was hemming and hawing. The kitchen sucked. So anyway, we decided not to move. I called Bert and told him, and why. He said he would re-model the kitchen for me and asked me for ideas. And all this came about because I just happened to go on craigslist, led by Spirit/Universe/whatever, when I did, saw this and was curious, and called. Oh, yeah, we do want to move. The woman who moved into the house next to ours on the property is rather a trailer trash sort of person and often acts like some kind of petulant teenager (even tho she is an adult). Not exactly comfortable. So I put out the thoughts about moving and didn't think much more about it. And then, poof, it all comes together. Now the sucky economy probably has something to do with Bert wanting to work with us. Craigslist has tons of rentals right now. But, too, this is the right place for us, in this little community, where our house sits on the back of the lot, with other people who understand the concept of community (one of my passions, by the way). I can't help but sense that Bert really understands this and would like us as tenants. Anyway, we are all interconnected. The end. For the moment. Tee Hee
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Post by JackNConnor on Sat Oct 24, 2009 4:20 pm

melodiccolor wrote:OK, let's take another simple expample of this; Bob and Ann. Bob has obsessed on Ann and has followed her remotely. He has made elaborate plans to kidnap and rape her. Ann is focused on her daily life and is totally unaware of Bob. Whose focus prevails?

I'm not saying that focusing never works; I'm simply saying that sometimes it doesn't. There is interaction between beings with different focuses, even when one of those beings is totally focused elsewhere.

Focus always works and it always works for everybody. The Universe is full of infinite possibilities. Within those infinite possibilities is the one outcome that works for all involved people simultaneously, regardless of how seemingly opposite their desires are. Ann will always get what she believes, to the degree that she believes it. So will Bob. If she never gives rapists a thought, feels strong and connected to loving people, and operates from a feeling place of abundance and joyful expectation--if those are her dominant thoughts, then that will be her experience. Bob will not line up with her and his desires will be met by someone who is closer to his vibration.

If she has enough doubt in there, enough fear, or she spends enough time focusing on the experiences of rape victims and personal protection devices and courses, she may produce a vibration similar enough to the rapist's that they can connect in a manifestation. Remember, it's not kidnap and rape precisely that they have to connect on, it is a combination of enough things each one associates with that outcome or enough things on that particular vibration in general.

If Bob wants to control something today and Ann feels controlled and dominated by her boss this week, they match. If Bob wants a certain kind of kinky sexual high that he gets off of scaring women and Ann is very much against sexual experiences where she doesn't feel she has the right to say no to things she doesn't like, they match. If Bob uses this as a way to work off his anger at life and Ann is terrified and feels utterly defenseless when angry people confront her, they match. If Bob sees resistant women as a challenge to be overcome and "won" through any means necessary and Ann has been reading up on rape statistics and is taking a self-defense class because she feels unsafe in the world, they match. If Bob's energy is "pushy" and Ann's energy is "recoiling," they match.

These are black and white examples, very clear cut. Vibrational alignment can be this simple or it can involve a miasma of interconnecting ideas, beliefs, and points of focus. But make no mistake about it: you are living the life you having been focusing on. Thing is, most people aren't aware of everything they focus on in their day. Most people are on autopilot, just reacting, reacting, reacting to things that are coming at them instead of deciding and shifting, deciding and shifting, deciding and shifting. And most, sad to say, don't realize they have a choice.

Look around you, what do you like about your life? Chances are, those manifestations are things you already believe in so much you might even take them for granted. Do the lights come on when you flip the switch? Does hot water come out of your shower head? Do you digest your food? When you dial your friend's number, do you get their line? Does your dog always greet you at the door? Can you walk through your whole house and not bump into anything and hurt yourself? When you order food at a restaurant, do they bring you what you ordered? Do your eyes work today like they worked yesterday? Is the ocean evil?

All of the above might seem boring but for a person who has been experiencing the opposite of those things, they can seem to be an impossible dream. If you think the last one if far-fetched, just try to imagine a ten-year-old boy in Indonesia who now lives constantly with the fear that a tsunami will hit at any time. His reality is a little different than yours, his fears and focus are on different monsters than rapists and kidnappers. And, yes, he was in vibrational alignment with a tsunami when it happened the first time. It, or things as horrifying and unpredictable as it, made it into his beliefs somehow and he kept them alive long enough to tip the scales in favor of a 9.0+ ground-shaker and a killer ocean wave.

--And for those of you are asking, "What about the babies? They don't ask for horrible things when they come into this world. They are pure joy," my answer is yes and yes. Yes, they do ask for all sorts of things (remember, this is not their first time around the experience buffet and birth and death are illusory) and yes, they are pure joy. They usually squelch the joy over time at the urgings of their parents and everybody else who thinks they are trying to protect them by helping them fill their minds and lives with the truly horrible, painful things that could happen. "I'm teaching you to focus on rapists because it's for your own good, dearie." Of all the ironic statements....--

OK, look around you again, what don't you like about your life? I'll bet you any amount of money that you can list ten things that you want to change about your life faster than you can list ten things that rock. Why? Because we spend far--FAR--too much time focusing on the things that don't feel good. We've got them memorized like our own personal multiplication tables and we whip them out thousands of times a day in conversation. Hell, we even give each other points for them, we dole out sympathy and respect based on how tough a day we had at the office or how much crap we had to endure to get something we wanted. Some of us believe the ultimate lie, that we have to suffer to earn something. There are even religions that bank on this currency of suffering--the more you hurt, the humbler you are and that makes you a good person. What the &#%!?

Don't believe me? Who'd you rather have lunch with, a women who has been on a bumpy ride trying to loose weight or one who tells you in a perky voice, "I just eat and eat and eat and I always stay a size four! It's amazing, I can stuff myself on chocolate and my jeans just feel like they are falling off me all the time. And I don't even exercise! I never have to try anything on in the store, everything always fits, just get me a Small. Are you gonna eat the rest of your pie?" Who'd you rather sit next to on a long drive, a guy who is struggling to get his new business going or a guy who announces, "Man, it's like I have the Midas Touch or something, lately! Money is just flying at me these days. I may have to hire a new portfolio manager to help me decide what to do with all of it. Do you know I haven't actually opened a bill in months? I just have my accountant take care of them for me now. What do you think of that new model Hummer with the off-road capabilities? Think that would fit in a regular garage? Have you ever been to Maui?"

The second person in each example is only obnoxious and deserves a bullet between the eyes if you are not lined up with that vibration. If you are on the same wavelength, it's just the same-old, same-old. Birds of a feather flock together; your income is the average of the five people you are closest to. We all gravitate to the familiar for security and validation, it's like a survival mechanism. But do you want to survive or thrive?

I've heard tell that we are programmed in the brain to focus on the negative as a survival mechanism: focusing on the saber toothed tiger charging you is more vital right now than enjoying the beautiful view from your cave. Yes, okay, when there is 300 pounds of ravenous fur coming at me at 30 miles per hour, I'll agree to address it but do we really need to go into fight or flight mode these days? How many times a day is your life really in danger? Usually none. And how many times does your attention to something truly awful get your heart rate up, stall your digestive juices, and drain the blood from your brain to pool in your arms and legs to get you ready to flee or beat the crap out of something? Is that really the optimum response to discovering your credit card bill is higher than you'd like? We're programmed for tigers but dueling with MasterCard. Time to evolve.

Luckily, we can be taught.

The human brain is almost ridiculously malleable, it learns and changes to accommodate new information at a rate that would make you gasp. If it didn't, you wouldn't be talking, walking, interpreting facial expressions, driving a car, or avoiding off-feeling places with the success you do today. You learned all that. You're learning every day. You'll learn faster if you exercise your grey matter on a regular basis but you already knew that.

So, pump some neurons and practice looking for things you like today. It'll be like roller skating on a rock field at first but you'll see some results right away. Start with the obvious--beauty of nature, cute pets, nice people, etc.--but start challenging yourself as soon as you can and start identifying just one thing you like about something ugly or someone nasty. The more you do it, the easier it gets. And the better you feel, the better you feel, the better you feel. How you feel is how you are vibrating, did you know that? Any time you want to know what sort of general vibration you are putting out there for the Universe to pick up on, just take a second, go inside, and say, "This feels -----."

Once you get some momentum going (and it doesn't take long) you will start to feel empowered and begin to see the world through new eyes. This higher vibrational perspective will open up a whole new realm of possibilities to you. Stuff you used to worry about and fear will no longer enter your mind because they are no longer a possibility for you.

You MUST make your own happiness important enough to you that you are willing to remove your attention from unwanted things no matter what anyone else says or does. You MUST believe that nothing is more important than that you feel good. Everything we ever do is for one reason: we think in the doing of it, or the being of it, or the having of it, we will feel better. That's backwards. When you feel better, the stuff that matches the vibration of "feel better" becomes your reality. It travels to you at the speed of your belief.

So, take a look around you again. Everything around you started as a decision and became manifest because you didn't change your mind. Now, how are you going to spend your thoughts today?

JackNConnor
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default Re: Expectations and the Law of Attractions

Post by Grasshopper on Thu Oct 29, 2009 12:58 am

Positive thinking is closely related to this topic. Here is another perspective by best-selling author Barbara Ehrenreich from her new book:

BRIGHT-SIDED: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking has Undermined America

Half hour interview and excerpt from book:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=113758696

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default Re: Expectations and the Law of Attractions

Post by Little Sister on Thu Oct 29, 2009 12:30 pm

Aw heck, it's times like this I wish I had more time. (Yeah, I know time really isn't) But maybe later (like in a few weeks) I'll be able to look over this great discussion. Much of it really resonates with me.
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default Re: Expectations and the Law of Attractions

Post by Grasshopper on Thu Oct 29, 2009 2:39 pm

On a metaphysical level, time is an illusion since everything exists only in the now.
On a practical level, time is God's way of keeping everything from happening at once (so HSPs do not get too overwhelmed! freakout ). Thank you, God.

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default Re: Expectations and the Law of Attractions

Post by melodiccolor on Thu Oct 29, 2009 5:09 pm

Grasshopper wrote:Positive thinking is closely related to this topic. Here is another perspective by best-selling author Barbara Ehrenreich from her new book:

BRIGHT-SIDED: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking has Undermined America

Half hour interview and excerpt from book:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=113758696

I hope to have the time this evening to look this over.

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default Re: Expectations and the Law of Attractions

Post by melodiccolor on Thu Oct 29, 2009 7:51 pm

Ok, I did listen to about half of it. What her message is primarily saying is that the relentless demand for positive thinking is not allowing people to grieve when something awful happens; they are not allowed to show depression, anger or the other steps of grieving.

Suppressing grief in the spirit of putting on a happy face is damaging; there can be no emotional healing if these normal emotions aren't gone through and dealt with. On this aspect of positive thinking, I do agree with her--it's a bit cruel and insane.

That said, firmly believing there can be no positive outcome, that life is destroyed may obsure a better outcome. A simple belief that it may come out ok does make a difference. But the grieving process must come first and be completed or the two opposites must be allowed to express themselves freely.

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