Whenever you feel embarrassed for saying something stupid . . .

. . . read some of these and be reminded of all the people who have said much worse.

http://textsfromlastnight.com/

(732): you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
(1-732): did i?

(732): I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
(516): one can only hope.

(732): I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.

(732): ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision

(732): so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking

(313): I wish costco sold astroglide.
(248): i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.

(203): the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake

(313): Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.

FAIL:
(313): mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
(1-313): it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...