2009 Neologisms--there is some real gems in here; LOL

View previous topic View next topic Go down

default 2009 Neologisms--there is some real gems in here; LOL

Post by melodiccolor on Wed Apr 15, 2009 5:05 pm

Subject: Neologisms

Once again, The Washington POST has
published the winning submissions to its
yearly neologisms, in which readers are asked
to supply alternate meanings for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in
which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that
picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that,
when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front
of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.


The Washington Post's Style Invitational also
asked readers to take any word from the
dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or
changing one letter and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners:


1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding
stupid people that stops bright ideas from
penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately,
shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about
yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a
house, which renders the subject financially
impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author
of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease.

9. Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody
is sending off all these really bad vibes,
right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

10 Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of
getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid
ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance
performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a
mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three
in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after
finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

16 . Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole

_________________
Life is complex.  Parts of it are real and parts of it are imaginary.  (read in a novel by Gregory Benford.)

Absurdity is one of the great joys of life.

All you need for a rich life is to see more.
avatar
melodiccolor
Admin

Posts : 11801
Join date : 2008-04-27
Location : The Land of Seriously Sombrerosy Wonky Stuff

View user profile

Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum